A treasure for a broken heart. From my broken heart to yours, with so much love and great music:
My heart is my most precious asset because I feel it all, feel too much, feel it all very intensely. My feelings were kept locked for years growing and accumulating, contained in claustrophobic spaces pressuring me to come out for some air.
One day I fell in love and it wasn’t reciprocated. My delicate porcelain heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces.
An unbearable pain, almost deadly.
What’s the use of keys to a shattered safe?
How can one repair a safe?
How does a repaired safe protect its jewels?
My heart didn’t crack, there was no slit. My heart burst open on the floor in a million irregular pieces, impossible to reconstruct.
The inner light didn’t start moderately coming out of the slit.
There was no more safe, barrier, protection, shield, alarm, nothing.
My heart became light, became one with the outer light.
I was all.
It was all me.
No more words to explain feelings and sensations. I gave up searching for explanations.
Barriers melted, crumbled, evaporated, and disappeared. Total degradation of what was one and now was everything, all of it, infinity in its totality.
It was what was left. All that existed and one day would be.
How should I hold on to it? What should I protect? Where should I hold? There was nothing left.
And floating in space, weightless, I was found carrying no burdens or responsibilities. Feeling deep pain that brushed me from the inside out, cleaning every dust particle, and polishing my soul with intense care. Keeping me alert and present.
The weight climbed from my feet to my shoulders. From the shoulders to my head. From my head to my hands that covered my face to protect a river of tears that flooded five continents and a bit of the sixth. As the tears became too heavy, my hands gave in, allowing the betrayal’s sadness to be seen by whoever was passing by.
And my heart became empty. Where before everything was kept , there was nothing left. Not even a hint.
What should be done with the vacuum, the nothingness, the blank spaces?
How to move forward carrying nothing, not even the memories?
What must be done when the heaviness disappears?
What should I do without concerns or things to think about?
Who am I without that which my heart insisted on perpetuating and suddenly vanished?
I am nothing so I guess I can be anything. Emptiness can be filled with whatever I choose. I might be defined as nothing, absolutely nothing. And how can I be if I am nothing at all? How can I be attached to something, if there’s no more storage to keep it?
Who am I?
I just am.
I am that I am.
So I expanded never returning to my original size. My heart illuminated the skies and offered the most lavishing party to the most devoted audience that shouted in unison:
FINALLY!
The most excruciating pain took me straight to the most overflowing joy and so I kept going, safe, sure that all that’s out, wide in the open, is safer than anything hidden.
The heart that opens up never goes back to its previous size.
Love can only multiply.
May your week be the most blessed you’ve ever had in life!
A huge kiss from this Witch that roots for you big time!
Yours,
Cá!